yup, just now played pool with dongxuan,estee,jingyi.zichao. ~_~. i think only 5-6rounds. then we are off to LJS. ~_~ sit there seriously, only talk cock sing song play mahjong. ~_~. then later on.. i took a bus home.. yeah. unfortunately dongxuan had to accompany estee home. lols. since time is all he can spare. =/. i cant. no time. not enough for me. =X when i reached home. i play computer games.. apparently i dint study ~_~. tomorrow must seriously do some work liao. MUST. its a MUST!. ~_~. lols.

P.S. I detest, loathe, hate, disgusted guessing games. i don't find it funny by keeping oneself in suspense. i rarely keep people in suspense. frankly speaking, im very very tactless. this is maybe one of the many reasons people find me annoying. but whatever.

i'm feeling something very very weird. i don't feeling this way. but. but. i just don't want the friendship just drift apart like this. however, i know its impossible for it to be back together in a flawless state. its said to be flawed. and the flaws are so significant that it can be detected with a naked eye. when i passed her the ball today, lols.. i think. me and her dont even look at each other in the eyes. dont think dirty. its not those kind of affectionate lookings nor its like a perpetual state of mesmerisation of each other. i think that we had less than 3 sentence of face to face conversation.. it cannot even be phrased as a face to face conversation. i think its a side to side conversation. LOLS!.

it goes something like this..

jag: na~
wendy: oh, thanks~
jag: no problem, bye

end of conversation.

i think this problem is not only with her. i find it hard just to talk to elena as well. haiz.. i also don't know. somehow if i just look at her.. my sub-consicious will immediately give me a negative sign about her. ~_~? i seriously dont know whats wrong with me.. maybe i'm too much of a stereotyper myself.. it cant be changed. harm has been done unto him.. and i witness the harm.. i can forgive.. but i cant forget.. its too "phenomenonatal" < if there is an existance of this word.. tell me please. LOLS. i just made it out myself.. what i want to imply was, its too happening already.. ~_~

i think normally people will just ask me what happen to me and elena, wendy they all.
i just merely answered.. i don't know.. don't ask me. * even through i hate this kind of replies myself, but i seriously don't feel like saying it out* ya.

if you think they its all our fault.. then so be it. sounds familiar eh? LOLS
aiyah.. i tell you one thing lah..
it takes two hands to clap
there's a chinese saying that goes like this..
孤掌难咛

dont come here play ping pong or poison ball. trying your best to push the blames around..
but ultimately, there will still be one side which stands a bigger portion of the blame.. and its definitely not my side. =D.

people like christopher, kokfai etc. ask me. first time in my life.. i'm like in a perpetual state of anemesia. it seems like i've been knocked down by this question.. LOLS. nevermind.. let it remain a mystery forever..

i think.. perhaps.. it.. will.. never.. be.. the.. same.. again..
people moves on. only memories are left behind.
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

读书好比逆水洐舟，不进着退. this chinese phrase that enlightens me a lot. =D
lets draw an analogy.
比如，读书好比逆水洐舟，不进着退。
哪，如果人的记忆好比逆水洐舟，不进着退。
am i right to say so? LOLS!